Memento Mori

So we're all heading there, what's so wrong with a little thrill? what's so wrong about a little truth? And the truth is whatever got me here, knowing or unknowingly I chose it. It feels like I've been dragging dead weight for about six years. That rush, the rush I got with you, the sweet taste of numbness and wildness, long after you were gone I still craved for it. Is it power? It could also be the lack of it, knowing not where you're heading and having not one care or say about it. It frees you. And I'm gonna miss it, cause it's about to die.

Close your eyes. Think about your guiltiest pleasure, the one that makes you unable to look into the mirror whenever you think about it. Now imagine not having to deny it anymore. What is it like? Is it less fun? Is the fun in the challenge or in the act itself?

I believe you loved it when I melted in your hands, I believe you juiced out every minute of my suffering, I know I did. There is a dark place in my head I like to visit from time to time. And when it's the darkest it's about to turn bright. Something inside me tells me I might not slay the demon. What if I don't? Will I be in lust for the rush forever?

You get a minute of truth and a lifetime of regret. You get a lifetime of ignorance and the whimsical visit of happiness. It is such a luck we can't know it all, or ignore it all for that matter. Even what we choose not to see, we see and truth sticks it's nose out of a mountain of bullshit and just ruins your day.

We're all heading there anyway, so why not enjoy the ride?