August 17, 2011

Don't, it's too painful...

She caresses my forehead gently while I put my head against her chest. It might look like a bleak scene, the dusty room, half-lighted by the remains of sunlight at dusk, but it is in fact comforting enough for me to rest my mind. I pull back, and look into her eyes for what seems an eternity, still in awe, pathetically helpless, more like a puppy than like a child. But then, these feelings of longing and regret collide into my frozen face. There is nothing left for me to do than wait, like waiting in line in the supermarket or on a deathrow. I could say "I miss you" but that won't cut it anymore, cause anything said just comes out with this blank expression I can no longer conceal.
What is it that I'm waiting for, to feel or to completely frost? I should have never taken that step, and I would never take it back. I know how stupid this sounds before I say it, but perhaps like everything else in the body, there's only so much breaking a heart can take before it goes numb for its own sake.
I have no conclusion for this, or the feelings I can't show... I'm just putting this out there...

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